Jane with an Autumn Realization

etc.

So, remember that time I was going to have a blog? I was going to write and share and be inspired and hope to inspire, etc. etc. Well, it’s like, what, five months later? Oops. The thought of having a blog and doing blog-ish things seemed so exciting and then, life happened, as it often does. School started – which meant lots of socializing and coffee drinking and Netflix watching and the occasional dash of homework. My academic load this semester is less than challenging or inspiring; I rarely have anything to study for, and as great as that sounds in theory, I’m a little bored. So I’m back at the blogging thing with a vengeance, for today anyway. But this time I’m going to do it more of my way. I want to focus on using my voice in all areas of life these days, which is easier said than done, so it shall begin here with the words I type and the thoughts I share.

This (school) year has been a whirlwind already, and it’s only freaking October. There have been some really great highs – some days I feel more secure in who I am and where I am and that’s the nicest thing. There have also been some major lows. We’re talkin’ world getting turned upside down in terms of relationships with both family and friends. Which is sad at times, and certainly scary. But good. And needed. So I’m trying to embrace the change and move forward. We’re alllll about moving forward and embracing the change these days. In doing so I dyed my hair for the first time ever, which, as silly as it may sound, was a huge “letting go” lesson for me, and in the grander scheme of things, I’ve been learning to let myself be content with where things are as I know that Someone knows a bit better than I do how this should all work. So I’m trusting. And trying to do it with as much grace as possible. Some other things, besides grace, that are making this whole thing possible include: Gilmore Girls marathons (seasons 2 + 3, obviously), bagels, road trips for good tunes with good friends, going on runs listening to angry rap (Jay Z + Kanye pandora station, obviously), listening to Taylor Swift after the angry rap (I used to be way to cool to listen to her, but y’all, these days she gets me, and I’m unashamed. That’s not completely true. I’m a little ashamed, but whatever; embrace, Jane, embrace), Sonic blasts with friends (Reese’s with extra Reese’s, duh), front porch swings, many a pumpkin spice latte, and the greatest of friends who, in the midst of situations that make me feel less than loved or appreciated or whatever, remind me otherwise. So yeah, I’m letting myself be ok with things being a little uncertain or different, because in the end, it’s all going to be ok. And if watching You’ve Got Mail three times in one week helps me feel that a little better, then by all means I’m going to make like Kathleen Kelly in the fall in New York and do what I gotta do.

F Scott Fitzgerald said, Life starts all over again when it gets crisp in the fall.” And first the first time, I really feel that. And it’s only October.

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